Changes

Long time, no post. Where to start…

I’m getting into AI but it makes my tummy hurt.

I think back to an internship I had in 2010 in Cleveland. There was one other programmer there in his early 30s. I was so into programming and I kept hitting him with new technology I was learning about outside of work. “We should use Wordpress! PHP! Web standards!” And I was met with a tepid yet patient response. Outside of work, he was in a choir. It was a job for him, outside of work was for friends and family.

I swore I would never become that. Never stop learning and experimenting. Never stop swimming. Never become comfortable.

That last one has worn me down. The learning has become tied to survival. When I feel like I’m not learning, I’m going to lose it all.

So… I’ve been really pushing myself with LLMs. All of my major PRs for the past 3 months are almost entirely Claude Code. I’m driving about 4 sessions at once on a day without distractions, and those days are fleeting. It’s like managing 4 people on top of more in an office I’m spending an hour traveling each way to each day. The only thing stopping me from doing more is that I don’t have time to write requirements.

I’ve never felt more on capitalism’s hamster wheel when using these tools. There is always a new tool or way to use it… and I just want to clock in and get home.

It can’t be all about survival anymore

I’ve got a baby coming at the end of May. I am so very excited to meet and care for her.

I do not want to pass this fear down to her. I want her to be free.

I’m willing the vibes of Jevons Paradox into existence and that she will find purpose, even if what that life is unknowable now. Thinking about that least sentence, that’s how it’s always been, right?

How AI Fits Into My Life

I’m not a person that runs all of life’s questions through ChatGPT. I like to make mistakes and learn. I’m human and it’s my life.

I look at these people that do and I cannot help but see losers.